Crank 3/5 reviewed by Corey

Crank (starring Jason Statham and Amy Smart)

3/5

Hey. I'm Corey. I'm new. I like movies. Let's dispense with pleasantries and get to the review.

Let me get one thing straight right off the bat: Jason Statham is awesome. Like almost any actor, he's taken some bad deals. I try to forget about the two Transporters. But hey, with Snatch and Lock Stock under his belt, he's gotta be up to something. He was even pretty good in The Italian Job. Which is an amazing summer blockbuster that you've all seen way more times than you should have. Anyways, I digress.

Crank is an action movie in that neo-noir style that's becoming popular. If you've seen Lucky Number Slevin or Sin City, you'll know what I mean when I say they're familiar. The gritty violence, the bleak comedy, the overly complex back stories that don't really matter. It's all here. The good thing about Crank is that it never intends to be something it's not. It's an action movie dripping with creative flair and style. From the on-screen text to the way the directors use Google Maps to show the general direction the mayhem is taking, everything in Crank is there to do one thing: make a fast, fun popcorn flick.

The story, as simple as it is, is really rather creative: Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) awakes to find that he's been drugged by a vengeful crime lord. It's described as nothing more than "The Chinese Cocktail" and the only way to delay Chelios' inevitable death is to keep his adrenaline pumping at unhealthy levels. As is fitting, the movie begins with a bang. Chelios is up and running about 5 minutes into the movie, and doesn't stop until about 80 minutes later, when the credits roll. The pacing works wonders for a movie like this, one built around fast action and faster editing.

Which brings me to my first and only legitimate gripe. I guess suddenly it's cool to go with the really quick editing style. This stuff is ridiculous. It doesn't ruin the movie the way that it did Bourne Supremacy, (Dear God: please give Ultimatum to Doug Liman. Amen.) but it's definitely noticeable. At least it wasn't directed by Tony Scott. Then I would have been forced into many an epileptic seizure while I STILL couldn't figure out what was going on. It's cut too quick. Some will argue that, for this type of movie, it works. I still think the camera could have been a little more productive.

Jason Statham does a good job at being ridiculous. He's yelling most of the dialogue in the movie, so his acting isn't really even worth questioning, but I couldn't help but root for him. Amy Smart is a girl and she fills the girl quota. She plays a small role, as well she should, and doesn't take any screen time from Statham.

I've got a feeling Crank will flop in the theatres, if it hasn't already, but I'm hoping that a lot of people get word that it's definitely worth a weekend rental. Get some guys together and see it in the theatre for a fun night. Be warned: it's not for the kids and it's not a date movie. The language, violence, drug use and sexuality is all graphic.

If you just woke up...
+ stylish filmmaking
+ cool, dark humor
+ Amy Smart doesn't do much
- hyperactive editing
- forgettable after the credits

SEE this if...
- You've got some guys and need something to do on a Friday night.
- You thought Snatch was sickly humorous.
- You liked Lucky Number Slevin, but thought it was too slow.
- You've got two hours to blow.

DONT SEE this if...
- You're sneaking in. I'm not kidding. It's graphic.
- You hated Man On Fire and Domino.
- You think it looks a lot like The Transporter.