Disturbia 2/5 review by Chris (Joe)
Good thing (or bad) that this was a free screening from my radio station, or I might be pretty sad about my lost money. Hooray free!
Disturbia
-In theaters now-
IMDB synopsis:
A teen living under house arrest becomes convinced his neighbor is a serial killer.
*Yeah, I know what you are saying…and to answer your question: Yes, this is basically the old Hitchcock movie made for modern day…only made very, very poorly.
Chris’s review:
I really only want to say 2 things about this movie and then I’ll let you be on your merry little way.
Thing 1:
This movie never figured out what it was trying to be, thus it sucked. The first 10 minutes are actually pretty good. You are introduced to Dad and Son, out fly fishing in non-descript beautiful river. We see some generic, though somewhat convincing interaction that brings us to believe Dad and Son may have their differences due to Son’s adolescents, but they still love each other and have a good relationship. Next, Dad and Son are driving home and are on the phone with Mom, enjoying some movie dialogue that shows us they are a happy family. Immediately they are rocked out of their happy movie life when Dad and Son’s car is decimated in a very shocking car accident that, surprisingly enough, was pulled off very well and had my feeling uncomfortable because it was rough to watch. After that though we are forced to sit though a movie with an identity crisis. Is it a remake of the Hitchcock thriller Rear Window? Is it a teen thriller with a teenage love story? Is it a drama about a teen dealing with the loss of his father? Apparently no one involved in the making of Disturbia ever answered those questions so it is a messy tossed salad of all the above.
Thing 2:
I’m confused about something in film. Why do good actors choose bad movies? By my estimation Shia LaBeouf has a deep, deep pool of talent and he will only continue to get better as he gets older. What he is doing in this terrible film is beyond my reasoning. I find it especially confusing after the last movie I saw him in: A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints (see the review in the archive). The kid is damned good and VERY above this sort of project. Taryn’s theory is that he is stuck in a bad age where he is too young for good quality roles, and too old to really fit in to these teenie flicks. I’m not sure I buy that completely, but it is the best theory I’ve heard.
Almost the same goes for David Morse, who plays the bad guy in the film. I don’t think he is quite on the leading man talent level of Shia, but he IS a very good character actor and is often found in movies he doesn’t belong in. I know you may not recognize his name, and thus, you probably don’t believe me that he is any good…but I submit to you the following list: The Rock, The Green Mile, 16 Blocks. Watch him in any of those films and you’ll agree that he is above playing the generic “creepy, possibly homicidal, next door neighbor.”
That’s all. Save your money and time.
Chris’s recommendations:
See this movie if…
-You are a group of 14 year old junior high kids with nothing better to do.
-You are on a mission to see every movie Shia LaBeouf is in because you, like Taryn and I, think he is pretty awesome and only getting more awesomerer.
-You’re not really going to watch it, so much as put it on in the background while you work on your model airplanes.
Don’t see this movie if…
-You’ve read this review.
-You aren’t able to shut it off after the first 10 minutes…the only 10 minutes that are worth watching.
-You want to retain some hope for Shia LaBeouf or David Morse’s careers.
Disturbia
-In theaters now-
IMDB synopsis:
A teen living under house arrest becomes convinced his neighbor is a serial killer.
*Yeah, I know what you are saying…and to answer your question: Yes, this is basically the old Hitchcock movie made for modern day…only made very, very poorly.
Chris’s review:
I really only want to say 2 things about this movie and then I’ll let you be on your merry little way.
Thing 1:
This movie never figured out what it was trying to be, thus it sucked. The first 10 minutes are actually pretty good. You are introduced to Dad and Son, out fly fishing in non-descript beautiful river. We see some generic, though somewhat convincing interaction that brings us to believe Dad and Son may have their differences due to Son’s adolescents, but they still love each other and have a good relationship. Next, Dad and Son are driving home and are on the phone with Mom, enjoying some movie dialogue that shows us they are a happy family. Immediately they are rocked out of their happy movie life when Dad and Son’s car is decimated in a very shocking car accident that, surprisingly enough, was pulled off very well and had my feeling uncomfortable because it was rough to watch. After that though we are forced to sit though a movie with an identity crisis. Is it a remake of the Hitchcock thriller Rear Window? Is it a teen thriller with a teenage love story? Is it a drama about a teen dealing with the loss of his father? Apparently no one involved in the making of Disturbia ever answered those questions so it is a messy tossed salad of all the above.
Thing 2:
I’m confused about something in film. Why do good actors choose bad movies? By my estimation Shia LaBeouf has a deep, deep pool of talent and he will only continue to get better as he gets older. What he is doing in this terrible film is beyond my reasoning. I find it especially confusing after the last movie I saw him in: A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints (see the review in the archive). The kid is damned good and VERY above this sort of project. Taryn’s theory is that he is stuck in a bad age where he is too young for good quality roles, and too old to really fit in to these teenie flicks. I’m not sure I buy that completely, but it is the best theory I’ve heard.
Almost the same goes for David Morse, who plays the bad guy in the film. I don’t think he is quite on the leading man talent level of Shia, but he IS a very good character actor and is often found in movies he doesn’t belong in. I know you may not recognize his name, and thus, you probably don’t believe me that he is any good…but I submit to you the following list: The Rock, The Green Mile, 16 Blocks. Watch him in any of those films and you’ll agree that he is above playing the generic “creepy, possibly homicidal, next door neighbor.”
That’s all. Save your money and time.
Chris’s recommendations:
See this movie if…
-You are a group of 14 year old junior high kids with nothing better to do.
-You are on a mission to see every movie Shia LaBeouf is in because you, like Taryn and I, think he is pretty awesome and only getting more awesomerer.
-You’re not really going to watch it, so much as put it on in the background while you work on your model airplanes.
Don’t see this movie if…
-You’ve read this review.
-You aren’t able to shut it off after the first 10 minutes…the only 10 minutes that are worth watching.
-You want to retain some hope for Shia LaBeouf or David Morse’s careers.
posted by Joe Punchface at 8:46 AM
1 Comments:
Bummer. Rear Window is awesome.
David Morse appears in 12 Monkeys. That makes him cool, too.
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